My emotions are conflicted. I am joyful, thrilled and devastated.
Annie has been promoted from elementary school. Abe is finishing Kindergarten within the hour. I walked alone home from Dilworth for the last time in the middle of the day. No more Kindergarten drop off?! Actually, I wasn't completely alone. Lily and I had visited the 2nd grade one last time before summer. So I had "Darth Vader" the panting dog at my side.
I am so happy to watch my children progress. I know it's right. It's exactly what I want for them in life. I firmly believe that God's plan for all children is to grow, and to continue until they capably grow away from us as parents.
It's also painful. I wish the entire process would just slow down a bit so I could savor more.
I like drawing on lunch napkins. I love finding a sleeping child on the floor in my room. Bedtimes songs and "tuck ins" are favorites of mine. Holding hands, hugs, entertaining outlandish ideas and lemonade stands make me giddy. My marriage with Jeff and being a mother to my 5 relatively young children have given me more happiness and satisfaction than anything else in life.
Change has once again reared it's ugly head. I'm trying to change my attitude about this. But that's how I feel.
Something that keeps me going right now is the fact that we've had a wonderful year as a family.
It's fun to be big enough for physical adventures like hikes, skiing, swimming. We are all independent and strong enough! This year was just as happy as the last one and the one before that. I just have to trust that goodness will continue.
Even as I add one more teenager to the mix!
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Nat! I love your thoughts. And I love that you give me such a good taste for what is so soon to come my way. I sure think you are an AMAZING mom, and wife to heff (no that is not a typo). You are awesome! And it is a sign of a good woman that you will miss so many of those child-like moments as the years pass. I hope I can do what you have done.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a great parent. Too often I'm too busy to enjoy the ride. And lately I am longing for the day when it's just T and I. Isn't that horrible? I need to be more like you!
ReplyDeleteKelly, you are anything but horrible! You and T have a uniquely happy and lasting romance and I'm happy for you that you're excited to be alone again. Hopefully you, Jeff, T and I will have some fun times in the future, shall we go back and visit IA again or hit Mexico?
ReplyDeleteKate, you rock! You're going to be the best mama on the planet.